Author Archives: Cimaxion

Sometimes a Dead Jackass is Just a Dead S.O.B.

by Cimaxion | 1 Comment

Hey, it’s never too early to call a jackass a jackass, is it?  No it ain’t.  Leave it to a prick like me if you want.  A jackass driving drunk at 132 miles per hour who suddenly goes to zero is better for everybody, that’s what I think.  Whatever his dim friends might say about it, a jackass in a Porsche going 132 mph is simply firing his gun into a crowd.  Just like the soldiers in Syria who probably swallow some good shots down before pumping bullets out into a crowd of innocent people.  When a jackass gets drunk and puts a friend in his car and drives 132 mph down a road and crashes and kills himself and his passenger I call it manslaughter.

Some of this dick’s friends thought it might be a good idea to call movie critic Roger Ebert some nasty names for Tweeting ‘Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive’ shortly after the ‘accident.’  They thought somehow it might be too early for such harsh criticism.

Would it have been too early for me to have thrown a rock through Ryan Dunn’s windshield?  Because I surely would have if he’d driven past me that night.  You betcha.  I do lots of windy mountain road bike stuff and nine times out of ten its some jerkoff with a beard in a Porsche that comes speeding through and nearly misses a curve.  I kid you not.  These guys with the Porsches have some issues, it seems.  I’ve got a very bad attitude about these people.  If one of them takes me out while I’m on the road, I give everyone permission to beat the guy to death with a rock.  You can also smile at his dead body if you like – just like I’m doing now.

I had a friend in high school back in the seventies who decided to drive 100 mph down Constitution Avenue in Washington, D.C.  He crashed into a tree.  Killed his best friend and his lovely little sister who was a year behind me in school.  I ran into this prick several years later in a burger joint.  He looked like a homeless broken nut at the age of nineteen.  I said ‘Hi’ and shouldered him out of my way at the door.  Forgiveness is for twits.

But that’s just the kind of nightmarish guy I am.

So Ryan Dunn’s friends can bend over low and kiss my ass.  A dead jackass is better than a live one any day.

Killing the Net: A Film by Duncan Elms

by Cimaxion

This short film by Duncan Elms explores the danger of an Internet that can be shut down quite easily by governments that want to suppress free expression or crack down on popular movements toward freedom. The recent experience of Egyptians trying to stage a revolution and spread information about it amongst themselves and to the world should be very informative. The Mubarak government was able to turn off Internet access throughout the nation. Even in the U.S., President Obama has sought the power to switch off the Internet if he declares an emergency. That effort has since been watered down, but it is clear that the U.S. government does in fact seek a method for shutting down the Internet.  The continued treatment of China, a nation that monitors every single word typed into a web site, as even remotely civilized is an embarrassment to the entire world.  Those people won’t even allow a person to think freely, much less post freely on the web.  There must be a way to maintain worldwide access to the Internet that is beyond the control of any national government, including the United States government.

Author Interview: Artie Knapp

by Cimaxion

Artie Knapp’s new children’s book, ‘Living Green: A Turtle’s Quest for a Cleaner Planet,’ is available!  Tired of seeing the land he loves cluttered with trash, Thurman the turtle decides it’s time to take action.  He’s a very environmentally conscious turtle who simply won’t take no for an answer.

Here’s a recent radio interview Artie Knapp did on a show called ‘The American Perspective:’

 

Get the book at Amazon

Get the book at Barnes & Noble

 

 

 

A delightful story that uses whimsical animal characters and engaging art to show younger readers that everyone can make a difference, no matter how small!

Sharon Martin, Newspapers in Education Manager, the Detroit Free Press

A determined turtle named Thurman shows us all that following your heart and doing what you believe in, no matter what others say, can make a difference. This story, like many of Artie Knapp’s other tales, is sure to entertain, educate and inspire our youth!

Kristin Garrison, Newspapers in Education Manager, the Cincinnati Enquirer

Kids are great ambassadors for the environment and Living Green makes the issue of human impact on the planet even more real through a brave, animal hero, Thurman, who literally risks his neck for earth.

Brandie Weikle, Editor of the Toronto Star’s parenting website, ParentCentral.ca

There’s even a special web site for Thurman the turtle.

Ready (Re’Search Wait’S), 2009-2010: A Film by Ryan Trecartin

by Cimaxion

Do you know who Ryan Trecartin is? You better. He’s making the wildest and best videos to be found online or in a gallery anywhere. This piece is about to open with six others to form an epic at the Museum of Modern Art P.S.1 in New York. It’s a warped and wicked view of corporate career life and behavior as practiced by characters whom I suspect would not even want to be considered normal. They spout company lingo and get it all twisted back inside of itself until it starts to sound like perfect sense and is just as valid as what you hear daily in the offices of any company. Trecartin is onto the fact that our economy has failed and millions of people are out of work because their jobs were bullshit to begin with. At minimum, 75% of jobs in corporate America are completely unnecessary. They are a busy-work scam based on particular rhythms and mannerisms and they produce nothing at all. The characters in this video revel in their uselessness. They gloat, the whine, they insult, they mock. They are amped up to be as irritating as possible. Their voices grate like demented cartoon characters. These videos are like the visions of a child computer in orbit that scans human beings and then tries to reproduce them but gets it wrong. These are digital creatures more than they are actual human characters.

Not to mention the fact that Trecartin’s intentionally clumsy and cheeseball imagery is simply gorgeous. The videos are extremely deceptive. They are so freely expressive as to be nearly psychotic. But always just enough under control to imply meanings with great subtlety. Right now these films of Ryan Trecartin represent the avant-garde’s leading edge.

Two Directors on Terrence Malick’s ‘The Tree of Life’

by Cimaxion | 2 Comments

I have not had any interest in the work of Terrence Malick over the years. His films tend toward nature and beautifully composed shots that seem much too still for my tastes. I like things that move in sloppier fashion than Malick is willing to show. For instance, the clip shown here makes me want to go see ‘The Tree of Life’ because is looks magnificently gorgeous and might in fact tend toward the non-narrative end of the spectrum. However, look at those ‘hand-held’ shots. Like almost every Hollywood movie, Malick’s hand-held shots look as though they are calculated, calibrated and buffered by sophisticated computer programs designed to give just the right sense of hand-held without being too hand-held. Hand-held on hydro-greased pistons with balancing weights and counter movement devices. Look at how, when he shows the kid’s feet kicking the can on the street, he tilts the horizon line just so. Fussy. Trying to make an interesting shot out of nothing. There’s something too smooth going on with the camera person. Malick needs to punch the camera operator in the mouth just before a shot. I don’t think great film directors can work with the standard kit Hollywood film crew… ever. Everything in this clip moves with a limp swaying quality. Maybe that’s why I sleep through Malick films.

If it were up to me, I’d tell Malick to remake this film with no more than five people helping him aside from the actors.