{"id":7080,"date":"2011-06-10T13:22:38","date_gmt":"2011-06-10T20:22:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.candlelightstories.com\/?p=7080"},"modified":"2011-06-10T13:36:06","modified_gmt":"2011-06-10T20:36:06","slug":"write-like-a-pretentious-artist-the-arty-bollocks-generator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/candlelightstories.com\/Blog\/2011\/06\/10\/write-like-a-pretentious-artist-the-arty-bollocks-generator\/","title":{"rendered":"Write Like a Pretentious Artist! The Arty Bollocks Generator!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

German film director, Werner Herzog.<\/p><\/div>\n

If you simply must hang your work in a gallery, then here is the tool you’ll need to make just the right impression on your viewing public: The Arty Bollocks Generator<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It’ll flawlessly create your entire artist’s statement for any truly serious and irreproachably artistic endeavor.<\/p>\n

Some samples:\u00a0 ‘My work explores the relationship between the tyranny of ageing and skateboard ethics.’<\/em><\/p>\n

‘As shifting phenomena become frozen through emergent and personal practice, the viewer is left with a statement of the limits of our world.’<\/em><\/p>\n

Please be serious, donate to a charity, write a manifesto, and for god’s sake go to a gallery for some bloody education!\u00a0 Then take yourself to see a fine German movie… film, I meant ‘film.’\u00a0 Okay?<\/p>\n

Now get going<\/a>.<\/p>\n

And for further sublime examples of pretentious statement-making, try Werner Herzog’s film school<\/a>!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you simply must hang your work in a gallery, then here is the tool you’ll need to make just the right impression on your viewing public: The Arty Bollocks Generator. It’ll flawlessly create your entire artist’s statement for any truly serious and irreproachably artistic endeavor. Some samples:\u00a0 ‘My work explores the relationship between the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[138,1497],"tags":[2510,354,362,1924],"class_list":["post-7080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amazing-things","category-funny-2","tag-art","tag-gallery","tag-herzog","tag-statement"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t